subway

“Y debo decir que confio plenamente en la casualidad de haberte conocido. Que nunca intentare olvidarte, y que si lo hiciera, no lo conseguiria”- Julio Cortazar

 

For years we have been conditioned to stay with someone, been advised to do the best we can to make things work, keep trying. While that is necessarily not wrong, it does not apply to everyone. There are passengers that will come and go but only your fit will stay.

 

We encounter individuals that make our hearts skip beats, make us sweat from nerves or hiccup from anxiety, all because they made us feel something. Our gut tells us that this particular individual could become a frequent passenger in your train, your life, no longer a stranger. Our hearts expand and contract throughout our lives, sometimes from pain, other times due to love, we change and evolve and so do our hearts.

 

And so our first love comes along. Our first passenger , the one that 9 out of 10 times will not work out, not because you did not love each other but because it was your first love. It was too fragile and innocent to see you grow and mature and do it all at the same time alongside you. Looking back you think that things could have worked out but you were too young, maybe if he had met you ten years later.

 

Then it’s a frequent passenger that was pure infatuation, the one you invested time in, taught a few lessons and showed how to love, only then you realize that it’s time to leave and you know that he will treat the next girl with all the respect you were deserving of. He was a passenger that you should have only met in passing instead of staying for long.

 

There will always, irrefutably, be a frequent passenger who got on your train and never got off. He is the one that is in the background, says not a word, and yet knows your very core. His stay was brief, cut short all too sudden. He is the passenger who will always go from station to station and live vicariously through you, or should I say with you. The clock keeps ticking and reminds you that although your heart tells you he is the permanent passenger you are looking for, not even a Marquez story filled with Magical Realism could make him truly stay. He made your past, is part of your present but will not make it to your future. He will forever remain intertwined in your story, in your journey and life, in and out between passengers until you find the one.

 

Then you will encounter a frequent passenger who you will never forget. The one that helped you grow up but you unfortunately did not love or not as much as he wanted you to. He was very much deserving of the loveliest girl that walks this earth, but he was not your person, so you had to let go.  Along with his memories he took part of your heart, never being complete again.

 

Then the permanent passenger comes along, the once a stranger but he came back to stay. The one you can call your person. That feeling of peace comes over you, the feeling that you are done going from station to station looking. He has wandered from station to station too; always thinking of where you are at the moment, where have you been and where will you go. He met you in a subway years ago, on the fast track and let you go. Now that the years have passed he realized that he is now the passenger who has come to stay as long as you will allow him to, your fit.

 

-CSV

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