Tragedy of the Commons

tragedy of the commons

“I’ve made up my mind to find out all about you minutely. But as I have no one from whom I can find out anything, you must tell me everything fully yourself. Well, what sort of man are you? Come, make haste—begin—tell me your whole history”- Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s White Nights

“This is it”- we begin to think. We have found someone whose common denominator matches yours; have it be a mutual love of music, a shared obsession over chocolate or hopefully something deeper like a similar past or the same vision for the future, we fall in love. The tragedy of the commons in love happens when we fall for the wrong person or we become infatuated with the incorrect someone depleting our chances of giving love a try later on in life when the latter does not work out. We say “fall” because it can be a liberating feeling of sorts and if it goes wrong, it can truly hurt once you take that fall and its reality with its emotions hit.

It happens to the “commons”, the ones who are usually willing to give someone else a chance, the ones that are romantics and not idealists, the ones who have truly loved and who have gotten hurt. The “commons” are the ones who open up their hearts and who are real. This week I realized I have not always been real or truly transparent except when it comes to loving someone. Sometimes I think to myself, why do I always wonder about love, its implications, complications and contradictions? It is simply because in previous years, the lack of love has shown me I was in the wrong place and with the wrong person, but in the present it has taught me to truly open up and trust someone else, and that is the least of the tragedies. So when you realize you are a “common” like me, I hope you have not depleted your chances at loving someone back or allowing someone to know who you really are. Love can be so intimidating, it is so private and personal, not to be taken lightly or for granted. The only tragedy once you both allow yourselves to fall in love is to be dishonest. So be real, love much and never give up.

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