“Is having children on your priority list?”
“I’m not going to answer that question. I’m not mad at you for asking that question, but I’ve said it before: I don’t think people ask men those questions.” —Zooey Deschanel
Being the youngest of my siblings I was constantly surrounded by older members of my family and or friends of my sisters. Ever since I could reason and had an opinion of my own I felt that my future consisted of a career, a significant other and a puppy. Throughout the years not much of that checklist has changed, I graduated college, live on my own, have a loving significant other but no puppy yet. Is it so wrong to not include children in your future? Why do women get graded on their worth based on whether or not they’ve had children? I respect women that decide to create a family and raise a child, but it should not make me a bad person to not want that for myself. Also, women should not be thought as good people only because they had a child; I know horrible mothers out there who neglect their children and should not be deemed great.
I feel that it is completely hurtful and ignorant to target other women that decide not to have children. There are several variables as to why one might not want children, perhaps they don’t like children or maybe they cannot have children, to each their own and they reserve the right to not be scrutinized for making such decision. It is hard to make a decision like that knowing that people will deem you strange or that you are going against nature; people it is not that complicated, just because I have a different stance or opinion than you, does not make me a bad person or should not make me a pariah. I love children, I may be incredibly awkward around them, which is why I was the worst babysitter ever. I respect and love my sister Danya for having had Tyler and for having Ella on the way. She is an incredible mother that has and will continue to show those beautiful babies what loving means. I respect my sister Paulina for giving all her love to my nephew and for helping my mom raise me. I look up to my mother who raised three crazy girls and we turned out to be normal loving human beings. I admire women that decided to have children whether it was their own or through adoption and I believe that women should root each other on instead of beat each other down. Let’s be nice to each other instead and respect each other’s opinions and lifestyles. Simply put, I do not think I was born to be a mother, and you should not have a say on that.
“It’s like, ‘Do you want to be an artist and a writer, or a wife and a lover?’ With kids, your focus changes. I don’t want to go to PTA meetings.” —Stevie Nicks