Lovers’ (K)not

“Of Course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we’ll hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

In the duration of our relationships we find ourselves entangled like knots due to love or due to complications. In that time we try desperately to cling on to the good memories, the times when we slow danced when music was not playing or all the times he ran to the store to buy you cookies at midnight because you had a craving. Unfortunately, there are times when only the negative memories come to mind and all you remember are the times you argued in the car or the times when you went to bed mad and giving each other the silent treatment.

 

When we take leaps with someone instead of baby steps we hope that they are the correct person to do it with. It is also okay to go through a storm and realize that in the end the ship did not sink and that all that rain was well worth it. We don’t have it all figured out and we do not fully comprehend what it means to truly love someone and let him or her into our heads as well as our hearts. It is tough to love someone when you don’t know yourself yet or love yourself entirely.

 

I have seen friends get hurt and gone in and out of relationships and I have come to the realization in the past year that knots can become not’s and relationships do not always last if your significant other was not the right individual for you. It is okay to find out at the end that there are too many differences than shared interests and that a goodbye sometimes is better than a see you later. When love is ingenious enough to get into our heads and conquer our hearts, it does not guarantee us a happy ending or a forever. Love is what plants a seed, we are the ones that have to try daily to water it and make it grow. Love is not magic; it grows with effort, with shared interests, honesty, and commitment.

 

I know individuals that are scared to be alone and to that I say what my friend Antoine de Saint-Exupery said above: “To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence”. I spent over four years by myself and although back then I might not have always seen it that way, I would not go back and change it. Of course there were times when I looked around and I was the only one by myself but now I am glad I did that. I accepted the fear of being alone, of eating by myself at Chipotle or going to a work Christmas party without a +1. In order to share your life with someone else you must first build your own life and thoughts, not around them or because of them. 

 

To the ones that in the end realized that their +1 was not a forever, do not give up, we are all worth being loved and the right one will present itself. It is better to realize it now than later down the road when it is too hard. It is a weight lifted off your shoulders. To the ones that are with their significant others now, water the shit out of that love everyday, it is not easy but it is well worth it.

 

-CSV

 

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