In the course of our precious and delicate lives we encounter individuals who challenge us and thus encourage us to change our perspectives and view life differently.
After a few months of frequenting this individual it grows to love and your life takes on a different path. It is no longer you or just one, it now becomes a good habit to think for more than yourself and partly because a portion of your heart now belongs to someone else. Although we want to believe that we will have a fairy tale knock us right out of our socks, we deem ourselves much luckier when we actually encounter hardships and when this challenging individual teaches us to be more humble, appreciative or simply more loving. Not everybody is the same and sometimes this individual has a choice; he can sink with your past failed relationships, drift and remain aloof, or choose to stay afloat.
As humans we tend to be incredibly selfish and when something goes unplanned we think we are the only ones going through such a problem or issue or we are quick to point fingers. This past month has opened my eyes to see that my relationship may not be perfect but it doesn’t mean it’s sinking. I learned that I have to stop focusing on the small things and enjoy the bigger picture. The bigger picture is getting to go to bed next to the man I love and I get to vent to him about my horrible day at work or tell him the drama my friends are going through. I need to be more appreciative that he is willing to listen and he supports me whether I choose to go the wrong way on a one-way street or if I wear mismatched socks or shoes. We both have patched-up hearts and we both understand that in order to stay afloat we must work through our differences because we choose to be part of this crazy kind of love. It is our choice to be in love and whatever emotions our chemical unbalances may bring on, we must talk through them. We must not be afraid to talk about our insecurities, concerns or fears; this person will only drift away with the current if you don’t speak up or if you don’t involve him or her in your life. I used to think I was a very talkative and open individual, but years of loneliness and daily routine has shut down a part of me. I am afraid to talk about my feelings if I am even so much as an ounce scared that I will be rejected or alleged of being wrong. I choose to stay afloat, whatever the storm or current may bring. We need to learn to accept our flaws, our fears and talk through them, because neither he/she nor I are perfect and perhaps common grounds can be built from the fears and uncertainties we each face.
For those who have drifted, they will eventually sink down and not resurface; they sank for a reason and that is where they should remain. Make peace with the sunken souls of your distant or near past. Whether it was them or you that chose to drift, it seemed like the most viable option at the time, because the bond or love was no longer present.
So afloat I will stay and sink I will not.