“My plans? I can’t see any future after the day after tomorrow. The only real plan I ever had was to love you”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald (“The Bridal Party”).
Our pasts linger into our lives every once in a while, reminding us that we are worth much more than what many failed to express in the present. Undeniably we reminisce on our pasts; things that made us feel good no longer exist because better ones have finally arrived.
My past bumped into me like a reflection of myself at eighteen-years-old. Years ago I met a wonderful individual that decided to come back into my life, unexpectedly but certainly welcomed.
From time to time, we try hard to erase events from our pasts, leaving gaps of uncertainty, confusion and perhaps resentment. There is also a part of us that goes back to a safe place in our pasts, wanting to replicate those moments that brought us such bliss and love.
Life is a funny thing. We invest so much of our time, waiting or chasing a love that may never occur. I spent years wondering what was to come, dismissing that timing has a twisted sense of humor and knows exactly when to introduce us to the right individual that is ready to give and receive mutual love. Our lives move forward or rewind like a cassette tape. When I was a little girl I would spend hours next to my stereo waiting for my favorite song to play on the radio and I could record it. I would wait and wait and when that song played my day was made. Like a cassette tape I have the power to rewind my life and record over the mistakes or missed opportunities I have stumbled upon. I have no regrets and I remind myself that everything happens for a reason. We play the tapes of our pasts over and over until the sounds become blurred and it all becomes noise.
If I had ran into him months prior I cannot tell you that the outcome would have been the same. Neither he nor I was ready until now. He is becoming the music I long to play at the end of a hard day and the melody I want to hear as soon as my alarm clock goes off in the morning.
Undeniably we cannot record over the past, that is just wishful thinking, but we can record a new present that will lead to a wonderful future. All you have to do is not go over side A and continue recording on side B.