Gabriel Garcia Marquez once said “la gente que uno quiere deberia morirse con todas sus cosas” (the people that we love should die along with all their belongings). This week one of my close friends lost her mom. It was so sudden and unexpected that it really made me think about big changes in life that we are not prepared to face.
As I was listening to her family speak today at the funeral, I realized that even I felt pain and it was not even my own mother. I shed tears and looked around the church and saw many faces that were there to not mourn but to celebrate the life of this deeply-loved individual. She was kind, always smiling and I was fortunate enough to cross her path once or twice. I wish I could have thanked her for giving me such an amazing friend.
When swift changes come into our lives we are bound to feel pain; we feel like there’s no ending to this suffering you find yourselves trapped in, when in reality it is our option to keep suffering or let the suffering continue to what feels like eternity. Death is something we fear and as we grow up, it’s hard to grasp loosing a close friend or a close family member. I don’t foresee saying goodbye to my mom or dad and I’ve already warned my mom that she needs to go to every type of doctor to ensure she’ll stay with me forever.
I realized this week that I am a damn fortunate gal to have both of my parents in my life even though my dad resides in Chile and I honestly cannot tell you what will go through my mind when the day comes that I don’t have my mom next to me or my dad answer the phone on the other line.
So although the pain feels like it can go on forever, the suffering need not last; life is but a beautiful dream and whatever faith you believe in, will surely give you an even better place once you’ve left this life.
It would be much easier to have someone pass and take all they had along with them, but how would we keep their legacy? If you’ve lost someone remember them and speak of them, suffering disappears the more we let the pain out. I still think of my grandma Jercia who left a huge imprint in my life as a little girl. I still have her ring and when melancholy sets in I choose to smile and think of her funny anecdotes; people want to be remembered for times of joy and love.
Let me remind you that love will outlast just about anything, and if we love on a daily basis, suffering will have no room in our lives. Go out there and LOVE.
This is dedicated to my dear friends Brianne, Lindsay, Karly & Sarah, love y’all!