What will be my resolution for 2013? I will be absolutely happy.
For over a month now I’ve been consumed by my books and work but I need to stop draining myself.
I feel like a lot of my moments of clarity happen in my dreams, a place where the impossible seems possible and where fantasy should rule. However, my dreams always seem so realistic and keep me grounded. In my dream last night, you were far away from me, distant, preoccupied with other people. As I wake up and lay in bed for another hour, wrapped in my blankets like a cocoon, I could hear the rain pouring outside and had the urge to hear your voice and call you but I stopped myself. I’ve accepted the fact that having you in my dreams is better than the reality that we face, and so I will keep you there until you sail away from my mind or better yet, until I at least see you one more time.
And so 2013 better reassure me of what my gut is trying to tell me: accept the happiness that comes to my life, have it be through phone calls, letters, or successes. I am happy but could be happier if I look at my life from a different perspective. As a human, I always want more than what I have which is not always a bad thing. In 2013 I will receive and create happiness. I am the most fortunate to have an incredible family that is always there for me, regardless of the distance; I have a close group of girlfriends that others wish they had and opportunities that will only open up more windows and doors that I could have ever imagined.
2012 was a year of growth. I traveled and saw places I never thought I would find myself at. I made new friends and learned why old friends are still a gem to my life. I decided that what I want to study is what will bring me most of my happiness. I welcomed new family members and saw my mom the happiest she has ever been. I have crossed the path of the type of man I never thought I would ever meet, and he has reminded me that life can be limitless.
My first order of business for 2013 is to build my own happiness. I will not wait for others to come along and show me I can be happy. I am ready to graduate in May, start a career with whatever opportunity arises. I am thrilled to keep traveling as I’ll be heading to Cuba at the end of May. I cannot wait to create more memories with my crazy girlfriends, as they are all so unique, intelligent and hilarious. And I ask my family to keep being patient with me in my crazy ideas and plans.
I will keep crossing oceans and seas to discover more about myself; perhaps you will find me in the way, if it’s not too late.