“It’s not the pale moon that excites me, that thrills and delights me
Oh no, it’s just the nearness of you,
Isn’t your sweet conversation that brings this sensation, it’s just the nearness of you ”.
–Etta James (“The Nearness of You”)
People often ask me how it is that writing comes so easily to me. I tell them that just as loving the right person comes easily, so should what you love doing most.
The day after we spoke on the phone I felt untouchable and unreachable, nothing could make me sad or bring me down. I felt like I could breathe easily, had a clear head, and happy heart. For months your conversations have made my days, open my mind to dreams that I know I am capable of achieving and hope one day will come true; hoping that you’ll be there too. I find myself smiling from time to time for no apparent reason and then realize that it was you that was on my mind. At times it’s a line of a song, perhaps the line of one of Fitzgerald’s short stories or the melody of distant memories and whispers.
Last night the wind was blowing harder and colder and it reminded me of how fast time flies as the seasons change time and time again. My lips are chapped from the cold night and the harsh winter that is coming ahead. I make it home, take off my make-up and get in bed. I put on socks as my feet are freezing and not being able to sleep I begin to think and think and think. My deep thinking took me on a ride which eventually became a dream and there you were. In the background I could hear Etta James’ “The Nearness of You” and I could vividly smell the sweetness exuding from the glass of wine in front of me. Through the glass I could see the shape of people distantly engaging in conversations, a dinner party sorts of setting. I could feel your warmth next to mine as you were grabbing me by the hip, bringing me closer to you. We were swaying back and forth to the melody of the song, the sensuality of the jazz music encapsulated our own little world as you were whispering something in my ear. Your nearness was all I needed at that moment as the song kept playing in the background. Other people approached us as we engaged in conversation, laughing, having a good time. We both looked like years had passed us by; years that brought us closer and finally to the same room.
Being a vision from the future was all I could think of as my eyes opened this morning and I felt the sun hitting my eyes. Please let that be right.
“….I need no soft lights to enchant me if you will only grant me the right to hold you ever so tight and to feel in the night, the nearness of you”.