…dream a little dream of me”
After an exhausting night at work, I make it home, change into my comfortable over-sized pajamas and open my computer. I do the casual scroll through my Facebook news feed and when that becomes old I go to my blog. I stare at my blog for minutes and I begin to cry. I can’t tell you if it’s absolute exhaustion or that my brain is completely overwhelmed with classes and work, but that mere second that I released such frustrations, I wished you were there. Just there. I wanted you to be there to tell me that I was being silly for crying about work or school, and I wanted you to come close to me, hug me and just hold me. Every time I wish to see you, all I do is close my eyes and dream. There you never leave my side, if it’s dark you bring the light and when I wake up everything is alright.
There are so many things that I want you to know but can’t bring myself to say, so here are a few.
At night when all the lights are out, when the only light glimpses through my window pane, when I am done reading for my classes or a book that indisputably reminds me of you, you are there. It always happens that when you go to sleep thinking about someone you dream of them. I don’t know many people that dream every night, I guess I’m lucky that when I dream you are walking down the road with me, no words needed, just holding my hand. I think of the reoccurring dream of us that you told me and tend to fill in the blanks, also having hope that it could happen. I never expected you to address such meaningful and thought-out words to me. I had never told you directly all the thoughts that have at one point crossed my mind when we’ve talked, when we message each other or when I had you in front of me years ago until I replied to your beautiful dream. Those reciprocated words meant the world to me and will continue to ring in my ears until the whispers become loud confessions.
We’ve come a long way, haven’t we? I long for the convenience of meeting you up for coffee go into Barnes and Nobles and pick books and get lost in there for hours. Remember when we went there one night years ago? (Circa 2007) I was a nervous wreck, trying to remember everything I knew about books so as to impress you, when in reality I knew nothing. I had never picked up a book for personal leisure before until you introduced me to Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Love in the Time of Cholera became my anthem. I felt trapped until you opened these brown eyes, until you gave me hope that there is a greater love out there if we allow it to grow. The years have passed, my bags are lighter, my dreams are bigger than ever, and you are still a part of my life.
Sleep on that.