Just the other night my cousin by choice ,Natalia, reminded me that we are all free to make our own decisions; just like we got ourselves into a situation, we can get ourselves out. Constantly, I feel helpless when I find myself trapped in a routine that I cannot get out of. When I let myself stop and rest from the chaotic lifestyle juggling school, work and attempting to have a social life, I think of how nice it must be to be completely happy with myself. I go trough the motions of leading that successful life or attempting to reach it by having a full-time job, going to school full-time and pleasing my friends and family. At night, when silence is all I can hear, I think and think on my past and decisions I have made that impacted what is now my future. Also, I think of what my next step will be to reach one more level of happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy, but I know I could be happier if I made the right decisions and actually moved forward to be at my utmost state of bliss. I am healthy, loved by friends and family and have a job, isn’t that what constitutes happiness? Happiness goes beyond the material things that I can own; to me happiness is knowing I have control over my own life and I am free to make any choices with the understanding that just as I made that specific choice, I am free to undo it and learn from it. My cousin Natalia and I update each other about our jobs and our crazy schedules and when we feel overwhelmed and uneasy Natalia tells me to breathe in and out and think “eres libre”, which means “you are free”. When she told me that I felt so relieved; just a simple reminder that I have control over my mind, life and body was all I needed to hear.
More than once, we have felt that we got ourselves in a messed-up situation and cannot see our way out; we reach out to the wrong solution thinking that it’s the easiest way to rid ourselves from the problem, when in reality the easiest way is not always the best choice. Nonetheless, I rather make the wrong decision then not make one at all; not saying anything is letting someone else call the shots for you. I decided to study abroad in Spain this upcoming summer and making that simple decision made me feel so happy: I am finally doing something for myself, going beyond the horizons I had set and chasing my dreams. Happiness to me means that I have a great support system, my friends and family are more than I deserve and without them I would be so incredibly lost. Regardless of the miles that separate me from certain friends or family members, I always know I am not alone. Loneliness sets in at times, thinking that I have been single for too long and when that thought comes to my mind I remind myself that I have something much better than a boyfriend: I have incredible parents, loving sisters and outstanding friends. Anytime I feel sad, missing my family in Chile or utterly let down from a heart problem or an issue at work, my friends are the family I chose to grow up with and surround myself with. If you are my friend, know that you are an amazing asset to my life and if I don’t always have time to see you or thoroughly listen to your problems, I am so sorry, don’t ever let me make you feel unappreciated or forgotten. Friends are there just like my family, never leave my mind and always wander around my dreams and my future. Happiness to me is being in control and content with what I have; knowing that I never walk the road alone because I am surrounded by loved ones. I have been told before that I am lucky to have such amazing friends; I could not agree more. To my family that is miles away your phone calls make my days.
I am a lucky girl, having family and friends are what I remind myself is the best gift anyone could receive. Over the years I have learned that trust is something one must earn and just as I have earned your trust, you have earned mine. Remind yourself that you are free: just as you got yourself into that relationship, you can get yourself out; just as you applied to that job that turned out to be the complete opposite from what you expected, you are free to quit; just like you said something, you are free to take it all back. My new year’s resolution for 2012 is not to lose weight like the previous 5 years, instead this year I am going to be free, by not thinking about pleasing others and do what I truly want to do. The last time I felt truly free was when I visited Chile back in April: I was in unknown places, making decisions on my own; reflecting on my past and letting go. If it means moving somewhere else and starting fresh or switching your major to pursue the career that will make you ultimately happy, do not hesitate, once you make the decision the rest will work itself out.
So remind yourselves: soy libre (I am free).