My apologies for the cry-baby tone on my recent post.
Last night as I drove to have dinner with him, I had hopes that it would be extremely and unbearably awkward, just so that I wouldn’t feel awful about our recent phone conversation. Truthfully, if he had been talking to the Cinthya from a year ago, that Cinthya would have most likely deleted his number from her phone book, to avoid any further mixed feelings and unwanted rejection. A year has gone by, and the Cinthya writing this has gone through a lot (mostly negative situations) which has made her reflect on life, the past and all the mistakes and lessons she has made and learned.
I accompanied him while he was having dinner and I drank two delicious mambo taxis. We engaged in random conversations, and as usual, I rambled on and on about meaningless things and weird anecdotes that happen to me. He looked charming as ever, and I was just being myself. Then, we walked around the shops and decided to get frozen yogurt at Red Mango. I tend to get plain frozen yogurt with fruit and so did he. All I could think about was that I wanted him to mess up, to say something rude or hurt me, but he did not. At times, we wish for the worst, so that the decision previously made hurts less and we can easily move on. Seeing him was good. I was by no means trying to make myself look like the bigger person by hanging out with him even though he made his intentions clear.I just wanted him to know that I am an understanding person that would rather have him as a friend, and nothing less. He had a cold so I prescribed him home remedies like eating lemon with honey, to which he clarified that it’s for sore throat not a cold :S hahaha! (I was just trying to help).
When I got home and once I was in bed, I started thinking about how much I’ve grown recently. There are times in life that we did not get what we wanted and eventually we understand that the timing was not right and something better came along. This better be one of those situations. In this case, I rather build a friendship.
Having a friendship with him is much more meaningful than having it be a fling, hook-up or a relationship that did not work out.
Being content with myself and the way I handle situations and my surroundings is like drinking chicken soup, refreshing for my soul. Since he was sick, I had some chicken soup sent to him. That was the least I could do.