Soulmate: the one and only other half of one’s soul.
Throughout our lives we have been told that there is ONE person out there for us that we will find and end up with. Eventually, as years go by, we realize that there might not be just one person meant for us, which is what we like to call “dating”. As I browsed through all kinds of men in the past year and a half or so, I came to terms with the fact that there are roughly 6 billion people in the world and out of all those people we are destined to find at least one person whose feelings are reciprocated and we fall in love with. Is there such a thing as a soul mate? If I think I found the right person, how do I know if I’m not settling for just a person I like rather than a person I love, in fear of never finding the “one”? If I do settle down with someone, am I missing out in finding the one I can’t live without?
Is is too bizarre to think that we can find someone whose interests, morals and feelings match to ours? For the past year and a half or so I have gone on several dates; some were horrid and some were quite good. One of my dates involved a bar tender who wore a “Scooby Doo” t-shirt to our date, which is the reason why I deleted his number as soon as he dropped me off at home. Need I say more? Then there were good dates but the guy was not ready for any sort of commitment, as though they had never heard the word before.
I remember growing up watching Dawson’s Creek (technically speaking, the best portrayal of teen angst). As I watched Dawson’s Creek, I was enamored with the idea of soul mates, like Joey and Dawson. Consequently, as the seasons of the show went by, the viewer, in this case me, realizes that although they are soul mates, at the end Joey picks Pacey. That was the moment that I realized, no matter how strongly you feel towards someone, and although you might feel like that one person is your soul mate, we might discover that we were mistaken about who we thought to be our perfect other half.
Finding the one takes a lot of time; we go through crappy dates and we put ourselves in awkward, at times vulnerable situations to realize that after all, the “one” person that is meant for us might already be taken and with the wrong half. In that case, am I settling myself up for disappointment by dating someone who I know is not my soul mate? Also, am I allowed to change my mind and think that the person I thought to be my other half, ends up not being the “one” after all?
I have come across guys in my life who are all very different. They all have different morals, taste in music, different upbringings, etc, but undeniably have caught my eye for a reason or two. Evidently, the one person we can not live without is beyond reasons such as what they wear, their physical appearance or their IQ level: the one will inspire you to be you and only you. When you find the one you can confidently say you want to grow old next to, you will feel like your other half has arrived. The concept of soul mates was introduced to us to explain the phenomenon and the abstract concept of love and to put a name to the craziness that we feel and experience when we have found the right person for us. Have I come across my soul mate yet? Truthfully, I do not know. At times I think I have and when I look back at him and all he made me feel, I sure hope he is not, because he is not with me. So, I will keep choosing to ignore that he might have been it, and I will go after the one that I will complete. I want to be someone’s soul mate in hopes that he will prove me wrong and make me believe that I do have a half waiting for me to arrive.