“Only two minutes, and you’ve made me happy forever”- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Time. We avoid it and at times want it to go by fast. Time does not wait for us to make decisions, instead as time goes by, the clock ticks and ticks and we need to move on, make decisions and grow up. Time allows us to have new chapters in our lives as well as ending others. We all dread ending certain things. We dread confrontation and the implications that time imposes in our lives. We try to ignore that time flies and we do everything in our power to not reach the end of a friendship, relationship or anything that we at some point cherished. Time can be so bitter and so sweet. It let’s us forget about certain scenes in our lives that we wished we never lived. Then there are instances when the single line of a song takes us back in time to a moment we will always remember or perhaps do not want to forget.
Time is so complex. Time can mean forever or never. We at some point, maybe more than once, think that we can spend forever next to one person. We devote hours to their happiness and if they are our soul mates, if there is such a thing, we promise to spend the rest of our days together. If otherwise, they are not that one special person for us, forever is not an option. Never is the only promise we make and the end is reached. Will we ever know when that time comes? Will time let us know who the “one” person we promised forever to is?
I hate endings. Well , not all. Everytime I walk into a bookstore and see a book that draws me in, I do the following: I flip the pages and smell the book. Then, I read the last page. GASP! Most people think I am so abnormal for doing that. If I read the last page and it’s interesting, I buy the book. Then, once I start reading the book, I completely forget what I read at the time I purchased it, so the ending is not ruined. Instead, since I knew the ending was good, I anxiously anticipate ending the book. That, and only that, is the only time that I like endings. This summer did not feel like summer at all. I was a slave at work and all I worried about were my finances and how the heck I was going to pay for school this upcoming semester. The end of the summer signifies the following: I am a grown person that has more responsibilities than she would like. Time brings phases into our lives. We have happier phases than others but eventually we are thankful for time. Time allows us to meet new people as days and months go by. Time makes us grow and evolve. The endings and new beginnings that time brings to us, as a gust of wind or a slap in the face, signify maturity, growth, and wisdom. Sometimes we get so caught up in our routines that we forget about time and all that is has to teach us. Time brings patience as well as impatience. Time gives us wrinkles as well as white hair. Time brings new additions to our families as well as the passing aways of others. So I will cherish time a lot more than I did before. In time, I will be more grateful and understanding of things that happened in my past. Time will teach me to be less bitter towards things and people who have hurt me. The endings coming my way will only teach me that time can be a blessing because ending certain things can only mean that better things are on their way (that’s the optimist in me talking).