“Countless as the sands of the sea are human passions”- Nikolai Gogol
We think we know what we want; instead we know what we don’t want. I met a man not long ago and he taught me the following: I thought I was ready to commit, instead he showed me how fearful I was about the concept. Maybe is not commitment I’m running away from, but rather committing to the wrong person. He was a great man: honest, respectful and genuine. Why did I let him go? I was not the right person for him. How do I know this? Because although he sounds amazing on paper: great qualities, a promising future, etc, I was not drawn to him emotionally. Am I fool? No, I made the right decision. I was not going to waste his time or mine. I’m sure with time I could’ve overlooked the emotional part, but eventually it would have faded and we would’ve ended a relationship that had no roots to begin with.
How do we know we are meant for each other? Are we ever ready to commit to the right person for us? I’m still in the search for the right man for me. I am not looking for a super hero or a model. Is it too much to ask for not only the qualities of what we are looking for but also the emotional and physical attraction of it all? I am not going to settle for something that sounds good in paper and give up the most important aspect of a relationship: love.Love shows itself not only through words but also through feelings that the right person arouses in us. The right one will reawaken these hidden feelings and emotions that have been lost for so long, in fear that our fragile hearts will no longer cope with, if unrequited.
Love is something we always have in mind. I received a lovely call from a dear friend today: Leo. We talked about where we are at in our lives today and where we are headed. When it comes to relationships, we both laugh out loud about the people we end up meeting or generally come across. Many times, we cannot really point out what we want, but when we come across qualities such as : shallowness, hypocrisy or lack of intellect, we immediately know that, that particular person was not meant for us. Will we ever know when the right person comes along? What if we miss them?
Patience continues to be a virtue and I am still working on it. I know if other women had a chance to go out with this man I just met, they would jump to it in a hear beat. Unfortunately I am not like most. I rather wait for the man that will provoke immense excitement in me. I will wait for the man that shows me arduous passion and feelings. I will find him when my long-awaited epiphany appears. Then, and only then, I will know that he is the one for me.